psalm 51:7

This summer it struck me....early 30's acne. I was at the beach for the week and woke up one morning and thought I had chicken pox. I don't know where it came from, how it got there, and why I had it, but I did. It was mid July, hot, humid, horrific. Over the next few days even more appeared. I looked something similar to a 15 year old boy. I doubled up on my face washing, backed off on my foundation, even tried the ole toothpaste trick. Nothing seemed to work or help.

In a desperate attempt to clear the problem, I ordered some products off tv (as I was up late, not sleeping because it had me so stressed out). I saw pictures of people that looked similar to how my "situation" was, become clear faced in a matter of weeks. I figured I had nothing to lose at this point.

The next week I received my package. A 4 step process, twice a day. I had not been so excited about starting anything since kindergarten. The first few days I couldn't really tell any difference, then the next week it started to change. When I realized that it was really working, the more I wanted to keep using it.

Fast forward 4 months down the road. I am still doing my twice a day treatment, every day. There are still a few little pesty things that come up every now and then, but for the most part my skin is back to normal and it keeps everything maintained, for now. I know in order to keep the healthy glow I have to keep the constant flow. Even if I miss one day, I can wake up the next and have a new friend. Welcome to getting old.

Psalm 51:7 "Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean. Scrub me and I'll have a snow white life."

My mid 30's acne was a similarity to my daily trust in Jesus. I woke up one day and found myself all out of whack. Where did all this gunk come from? How did I get so covered in gross stuff? What am I going to do about it?

Well, I tell you what I did - I got the best thing I could find, what seemed to work for others in the same situation, committed to a daily regimin and never looked back. JESUS. Those days I wafer, I feel it, I see it, I know it. blessed that I can get back on track any time, every time.

so, so, so very thankful for grace that covers all.

one day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship
beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches.

clearer face. clearer mind. cleaner heart.

gonna be worth it

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this

trip recap

it's always hard to come back to the comforts of the life I have here when I go to a third world country. this was the third time around for me. I'm still processing everything, but there are some things already made clear to me.

Being sick in Africa is not fun. The third day we were there I got hit with dysentery which then caused severe dehydration. Enough said about that.

Poverty here is nothing like the poverty there.

Each and every face in the world is created in His image, even if they don't beleive.

Satan revels in ruling hearts of man. I walked right through the walled up city where satan has captured thousands. BUT, even in the midst of such, Jesus is there. present. active. waiting.

There is much to be done. There is opportunity for everyone here to help. even if you don't ever set foot in this sun-scorched land. Don't sit back and shake your head at the sights, get up and ask what you can do to help.

I may have a child from this country one day.

Being on a plane for 18 hours causes intense feet swelling.

once was blind, now i see

I love a good sunset. Especially on the beach. I was driving yesterday and the sun was blinding me, in my attempt to block my eyes from it, I did what we all do when something is bright. I looked right into it. It took my breath away. I instantly pulled over and just happened to have my good camera with me. I got this fantastic shot.



Two things.

First - if you look at this, how can you not beleive in God?

Second - I didn't realize at the time that I was in a parking lot that has wire around the wall. It looks like I am behind a prison wall. I was. That was me. I was in prisoned with my own sin, my selfish heart, my old life. I saw the beauty of God, the amazing grace He had to offer me, the hope that He wanted to share with me, yet I stayed in my own prison for so long. I would look at that beautiful life that was on the outside and wanted to have it so bad, but the world told me so many different things that kept me behind that wall. I was enslaved to my own life, as a result of my own choices.

Oh, but freedom is so sweet. Precious grace and hope that awaited me were still there when I broke free. When my heart became captive to His love for me. Now I get to experience that beautiful sunset with a healthy heart and a mind consumed with for Him alone.

they comes in three's

I read the life journal every day (well, ok maybe there are a few days here and there where I miss) but I haven't mastered the art of doing the acutal journaling part. I read and then journal my own thoughts for the day or what I'm feeling or what God teaches me through it.

Last night I had THREE things he taught me. Holy Moly. I was on life journal overload in a very short chapter. Philippians 2

4 "Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interest of others."
This was so convicting for me. During renewal last night I learned about a man in my church that passed away Monday. His picture was shown on the screen as our pastor told his God story. I had seen this man just about every Sunday holding the door open, greeting people. Honeslty, I judged this man on many occasions, without even ever knowing him. I sat and weeped when I heard how just 6 months ago he gave his life to Jesus and now he is in eternity where I long to be. It made me feel guilty that I never stopped and said something simple like "thank you for serving. for opening this door for me. for being a part of the same body that I am a part of." Thank you Jesus for letting me see and hear his story and this sweet word on the same night.

8 "...he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on the cross." That should get you just in itself. Crucifixion was the most degrading death that could be given to anyone. The most painful, the longest to endure. Jesus knew this. He knew the pain, the time he would hang there, the humiliation it would bring. And he still did it. for you. for me.

12 "...continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling."
I'm just gonna quote my commentary on this one. "Salvation is not merely a gift received once for all, it expresses itself in an ongoing process which the believer is strenuously involved. the process of perserverance, humble service, spiritual growth and maturation. Fear and trembling not because of doubt or anxiety; rather the reference is to an active reverence and a singleness of purpose in repsonse to God's grace."

I don't know about you, but to learn that much in one letter from Paul just kinda makes me dizzy. in a good way.

revelation

I started a Beth Moore study on the book of Revelation a few weeks ago. I have read through this book in my bible numerous times, but never have I had it explained to me like she is. It is making me stay up and think at night. It is challenging my core. It is giving me a whole new picture of who God is. Each week as we are going through the questions and scriptures, there is a time to reflect on any revelations God throws at you. This is week 4 and I'm just now havin one, but it was a good one.

I wouldn't call myself a diet coke "addict" but I was drinking more than one should. I was drinking coffee in the morning too. I craved diet coke. I loved the way it tasted. I felt almost releived when I got that first sip, especially out of a cold, cold can. BUT, I gave it all up in June. I started drinking Spark, and energy and mental focus drink, and quickly replaced my diet coke and coffee habit. It also helped me to crave and drink more water. Water is the best thing in the world to drink. Since June I have maybe had a total of 2 cups of coffee and 3 diet cokes, if that. Even when I do splurge and have one, I can hardly finish it. It doesn't even taste that good to me anymore. I can feel my body longing for the cleanliness and purity of water instead.

This morning I had this weird craving for a diet coke. I rarely even think about having one, but for some reason I could almost taste it. What I gave up a few months ago, I have learned how to live without. The more I am away from what was unhealthy for me, the less I craved it, but there are still times when I do have a desire for it.

Yet, the more I had the good stuff, the more of that I wanted. God knocked the breath out of me with this. "See, Jamie, I am the good. I am the purtiy for you. I am the clean and living water for you. I take those cravings for unhealthy things and replace them with the sweetness of my life in you. You don't need that stuff anymore. You have all you need in me."

and that my friends, is a revelation.

you never let go

I have a chronic problem with getting to sleep at night. I have tried reading, watching tv, staring at the fan, medication. Last night I thought I would try listening to music. I plugged my ipod in and put it on shuffle. I should probably make a play list for some easy listening music because trying to get to sleep to Beastie Boys is not a good idea.

One song came on and as I layed there and listened to it, my mind started going 900 miles an hour. Thinking back through every detail of my life I could remember, details I didn't want to remember, and things that I hope I can remember down the road. I kept repeating the song over and over and each time I listened to the words, my mind would speed up. As did my heart. I can't wrap my mind around how gracious God is to me. I can't comprehend how he can love me the way He does. I can't fully understand how perfect His plan is for my life. But I do know He never lets go.

lovely

God = love. The two can’t be separated. They are the same thing. God IS love.

“This is how much God loved the world. That he gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refused to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.”

We (people) mess up love. There is no perfect love with another person. We seek out what we think love is. We compromise for it. We become selfish for it. We abuse it. We take it for granted. We hurt others. We ourselves get hurt for it. No wonder we make a mess of it at times – there is only one perfect love – His perfect love. God and love are the two most confusing and difficult things in our lives. But, in Jesus, the two are linked accurately, intricately, and indissolubly. “Our love for him always comes out of His love for us.”

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut. Doesn’t have a swelled head. Doesn’t force itself on others. Isn’t always “me first.” Doesn’t fly off the handle. Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others. Doesn’t revel when others grovel. Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth. PUTS UP WITH ANYTHING. Trust God always. Always looks for the best. Never looks back. But keeps going to the end. These are all things God tells us what love is, telling us “this is what I am.”

He puts up with me, a lot. No matter what I say, what I do, where I go – I am bankrupt without love, without Him.

my necessities

I am an Instyle junkie. I need to cancel my subscription. My favorite part is the "Must Have" section - whether it is cosmetics or the latest gadgets or fashion outrage, I love to see what is in and what I might need to go check out. Since these are all more like "I want" items, I rarely ever actually get any of them. However, here are a few of my favorite things....


Lip Butter. Wear it day and night. Under lip gloss, over lip gloss. Love it.


bumble and bumble hair spray. Goes everywhere with me. Except the airport.


Best lotion ever known to man. Lollia. Believe.


Since I am in my car 95% of my day. Best time to pluck your eyebrows is in the sunshine. Whether at a stop light or in a parking lot.


Diet coke who? Spark. Energy. Mental focus, both of which I need.


Enough said.


I know, I am behind technilogically. Gets me through runs, will get me through teaching spin class now. Top played artist: Kings of Leon, Mofro, Jeremy Camp, Lecrae


My new favorite thing this year.

mission possible

Leaving Thursday, October 14 from Jackson and fly to Addis Ababa, Ethiopa (not sure where we fly through but most likely Frankfurt - which means 2 flights about 9 hours each). Once in Addis Ababa, we will drive about three hours towards Dire Dawa, probably where we will be staying, and we may go out into more rural areas at some point. Our first day will be a debriefing and strategy day to plan for the upcoming week. We know for sure that we will have 3 days of medical clinic and 1 day of feeding clinic (where we will assist in distributing food supplies). Any other time we have will be devoted to connecting with the people and doing "story-ing", which is where we will have the opportunity to share the gospel in a story format - similar to how you would share it with a child, and then who knows what will happen! If you have ever been on a mission trip, sometimes nothing you plan works and you just have to wing it! We will return to Jackson on Tuesday, October 26.

While the country of Ethiopia has a relatively high Christian population, the people groups in this area of the country where we are going to are Somalian Muslims. I had a great experience with this same people group when I was in Kenya two years ago, so it will be a treasure to connect with these people again (not the same ones, but the same culture). Despite the harsh idea that we (American/Christains) have of these people, they are a very sweet and kind group for the most part. There is opposition and resistance to Christians, and there is persecution, so we are praying that God will protect us and give us opportunity to share truth with them in a loving way.

Here is a link that has more information about the country and will give you a better idea of where we will be. Supposedly, I will be very close to the Ark of the Covenant - I'm still kinda confused on this so I've got to do some more research :)

http://www.selamta.net/

I wish I could leave yesterday for this.