the year of miracles

In January of last year (well technically of this year, but since there are just 2 more days in this year, we will go ahead and call it, last year) I set out on a 90 day fast.  Fasting is my least favorite thing to do for Jesus, so when the Lord told me to go for that long, I knew there  were big things He wanted to teach me and show me.  There were some big questions I was asking the Lord, and there were some even bigger questions He was asking me. 

Some of my questions were:

How am I going to get this house finished?

How am I going to get this house finished?

How am I going to get this house finished?

How am I going to do this?

How am I going to do this?

How am I going to do this?

I set my feet down on January 1, 2015 believing for provisions - for completion - for the house - for more of the Lord so I can do this - for many salvations. 

As each demo day came (that I thought would never end), so did strategies from Jesus on how to use the house when it was finished.  It was really simple, Jesus said, "Live there, love there."  I saw a house full of kids…...eating dinner around the table, sitting at the kitchen counter doing homework, washing clothes, sleeping in the extra bedrooms, helping me work in the yard, learning how to be loved by Jesus.  That’s better than any strategy I could have created. 

Early in the spring, Jesus gave me the name for the house.  The Light House.  Here is the story as to how that happened - The Light House

The questions Jesus asked me during this fast were some hard ones. 

What are you contending for? 

What are you willing to do for breakthrough? 

What will you give up for me? 

What if…..it gets lonely, to hard, overwhelming, tiring, no one comes to help, etc….  That was the hardest one.

Then in the midst of these hard questions, Jesus said, “this is a year of miracles, just watch and see.” 

So that is how 2015 started…..

“You are THE God who performs miracles,

you display your power among the people.” 

Pslam 77:14

And how is it ending?  Well, the miracles abounded above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined or dreamed of.  So, so, so many people came to help.  People I had never met before, people who I don't know will ever understand how thankful and grateful and humbled I have been for everything you have done, given, and prayed with me for. If you are one of those people - THANK YOU!!!!!!  

It has been a hard year.  An inconvenient year.  A tiring year.  A busy year.  And just like the Lord said, a year of miracles. They continue to fall from his throne.  They continue to amaze me.  They continue to overwhelm me.  His love continues to change me.  

There is more, more, more, more.  Always more from Jesus. Always.

just about Jesus

Matthew 2:1-10
 
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem village, Judah territory— this was during Herod’s kingship—a band of scholars arrived in Jerusalem from the East. They asked around, “Where can we find and pay homage to the newborn King of the Jews? We observed a star in the eastern sky that signaled his birth. We’re on pilgrimage to worship him.”

When word of their inquiry got to Herod, he was terrified—and not Herod alone, but most of Jerusalem as well. Herod lost no time. He gathered all the high priests and religion scholars in the city together and asked, “Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?”

They told him, “Bethlehem, Judah territory. The prophet Micah wrote it plainly:

It’s you, Bethlehem, in Judah’s land,
    no longer bringing up the rear.
From you will come the leader
    who will shepherd-rule my people, my Israel.”

Herod then arranged a secret meeting with the scholars from the East. Pretending to be as devout as they were, he got them to tell him exactly when the birth-announcement star appeared. Then he told them the prophecy about Bethlehem, and said, “Go find this child. Leave no stone unturned. As soon as you find him, send word and I’ll join you at once in your worship.”

Instructed by the king, they set off. Then the star appeared again, the same star they had seen in the eastern skies. It led them on until it hovered over the place of the child. They could hardly contain themselves: They were in the right place! They had arrived at the right time!

My niece was laying in bed with me last night, asking me about all the essential oils I used, and rubbing all over myself because of a wretched sinus infection I have.  This turned into us talking about when Jesus was born and the 3 wise men brought gold, frankincense, myrrh.  I started reading Matthew to her and talking about what it was like when Jesus received these gifts, and how valuable and important they were.  

Jesus was actually around 1 or 2 by the time the wise men got there, which is not what we have been taught all our lives.  I even have the nativity scenes that show them there with Mary and Joseph.  But think about it.....if they saw the star in the sky, that meant that Jesus had just been born.  They were traveling from the east, not anywhere near Bethlehem, so that journey took a little bit of time.  

But when they got there.  Can you imagine?  I can't even imagine.  

The right place, at the right time, and they gave him the most valuable things they had.  

They worshiped him, even though it took them over a year to get to him.  True worship.  Honoring him with all they had.  

I can't stop thinking about this.  Worshiping Jesus because he is perfect, and even if it takes us a while to get to where He is, He is perfect, and so worthy of the very best we have to give.

They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary, his mother. Overcome, they kneeled and worshiped him. Then they opened their luggage and presented gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh.

watch out for those delilah's

Judges 16

Samson went to Gaza and saw a prostitute. He went to her. The news got around: “Samson’s here.” They gathered around in hiding, waiting all night for him at the city gate, quiet as mice, thinking, “At sunrise we’ll kill him.^"  Samson was in bed with the woman until midnight. Then he got up, seized the doors of the city gate and the two gateposts, bolts and all, hefted them on his shoulder, and carried them to the top of the hill that faces Hebron.

Some time later he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek (Grapes). Her name was Delilah. The Philistine tyrants approached her and said, “Seduce him. Discover what’s behind his great strength and how we can tie him up and humble him. Each man’s company will give you a hundred shekels of silver.”  So Delilah said to Samson, “Tell me, dear, the secret of your great strength, and how you can be tied up and humbled.”  Samson told her, “If they were to tie me up with seven bowstrings—the kind made from fresh animal tendons, not dried out—then I would become weak, just like anyone else.”

The Philistine tyrants brought her seven bowstrings, not dried out, and she tied him up with them. The men were waiting in ambush in her room. Then she said, “The Philistines are on you, Samson!” He snapped the cords as though they were mere threads. The secret of his strength was still a secret.

Delilah said, “Come now, Samson—you’re playing with me, making up stories. Be serious; tell me how you can be tied up.”  He told her, “If you were to tie me up tight with new ropes, ropes never used for work, then I would be helpless, just like anybody else.”  So Delilah got some new ropes and tied him up. She said, “The Philistines are on you, Samson!” The men were hidden in the next room. He snapped the ropes from his arms like threads.  

Delilah said to Samson, “You’re still playing games with me, teasing me with lies. Tell me how you can be tied up.”  He said to her, “If you wove the seven braids of my hair into the fabric on the loom and drew it tight, then I would be as helpless as any other mortal.”  When she had him fast asleep, Delilah took the seven braids of his hair and wove them into the fabric on the loom and drew it tight. Then she said, “The Philistines are on you, Samson!” He woke from his sleep and ripped loose from both the loom and fabric!   She said, “How can you say ‘I love you’ when you won’t even trust me? Three times now you’ve toyed with me, like a cat with a mouse, refusing to tell me the secret of your great strength.”  

She kept at it day after day, nagging and tormenting him. Finally, he was fed up, he couldn’t take another minute of it. He spilled it.  He told her, “A razor has never touched my head. I’ve been God’s Nazirite from conception. If I were shaved, my strength would leave me; I would be as helpless as any other mortal.”  When Delilah realized that he had told her his secret, she sent for the Philistine tyrants, telling them, “Come quickly—this time he’s told me the truth.” They came, bringing the bribe money.

When she got him to sleep, his head on her lap, she motioned to a man to cut off the seven braids of his hair. Immediately he began to grow weak. His strength drained from him.  Then she said, “The Philistines are on you, Samson!” He woke up, thinking, “I’ll go out, like always, and shake free.” He didn’t realize that God had abandoned him.  The Philistines grabbed him, gouged out his eyes, and took him down to Gaza. They shackled him in irons and put him to the work of grinding in the prison. But his hair, though cut off, began to grow again.

Delilah only came into Samson's life at the near end, but caused the most devestation to him yet.  She manipulated and deceived him into betraying his trust and faithfulness to God.  Though his physical strength awarded him great victories, his lack of self control brought his greatest defeat.  He could strangle a lion, kill hundreds with his bare hands, and nearly lift the world on his shoulders, but his burning lust for temporary satisfaction is what unraveled him.

In pursuing, beginning, and continuing relationships, how can we keep our desire for love and lust from deceiving us?  Decide early on what kind of person you will love before you give into passion.  Character and commitment to Jesus must be the greatest of all other traits.  Be patient in the pursuit.  When you watch and wait, you will begin to see what lies beneath the fluff and what you are really getting. It's worth it to know early on, very early on.  Catch the little foxes before they destroy you.  Remember what Samson did with the foxes on fire?

"Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes, that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom."  Song of Solomon 2:15

Delilah nagged Samson until he gave in.  What a sad excuse for him to disobey the Lord.  Don't ever let anyone talk you into turning your heart away from what God has for you.  Four times she manipulated him, and four times he chose lust for her, over love from God.  What a fool!  But, how many times do we (did I) allow ourselves (myself) to give into flattery and temptations over what we know (I knew) is true and holy? 

Heart check.  Been there, done that.  Never go back.

So then, Samson went from a mighty warrior, to a lowly slave.  Blinded.  Grinding grain.  No strength.  No dignity.  Alone.  

Then the Lord's redemptive grace arrives.  His ending is beautiful and I am still walking through it.

Just like with me.  I lived in a cycle much like Samson for many years.  It was ugly, lonely, and very painful.  

BUT - Jesus set me free, healed my heart, restored my mind/soul/spirit, and didn't end my story there.  Thank you Jesus!

"Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
    or, whine, Israel, saying,
“God has lost track of me.
    He doesn’t care what happens to me”?
Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening?
God doesn’t come and go. God lasts.
    He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.
    And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
    gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
    young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
    They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
    they walk and don’t lag behind."

Isaiah 40:27-31

 

 

the scandal continues.....and grace abounds

Judges 15

Later on, during the wheat harvest, Samson took a young goat as a present to his wife. He said, “I’m going into my wife’s room to sleep with her,” but her father wouldn’t let him in.  “I truly thought you must hate her,” her father explained, “so I gave her in marriage to your best man. But look, her younger sister is even more beautiful than she is. Marry her instead.”

Samson said, “This time I cannot be blamed for everything I am going to do to you Philistines.”  Then he went out and caught 300 foxes. He tied their tails together in pairs, and he fastened a torch to each pair of tails.   Then he lit the torches and let the foxes run through the grain fields of the Philistines. He burned all their grain to the ground, including the sheaves and the uncut grain. He also destroyed their vineyards and olive groves.

 “Who did this?” the Philistines demanded.  “Samson,” was the reply, “because his father-in-law from Timnah gave Samson’s wife to be married to his best man.” So the Philistines went and got the woman and her father and burned them to death.

 “Because you did this,” Samson vowed, “I won’t rest until I take my revenge on you!”  So he attacked the Philistines with great fury and killed many of them. Then he went to live in a cave in the rock of Etam.  The Philistines retaliated by setting up camp in Judah and spreading out near the town of Lehi.  The men of Judah asked the Philistines, “Why are you attacking us?”  The Philistines replied, “We’ve come to capture Samson. We’ve come to pay him back for what he did to us.”

 So 3,000 men of Judah went down to get Samson at the cave in the rock of Etam. They said to Samson, “Don’t you realize the Philistines rule over us? What are you doing to us?”  But Samson replied, “I only did to them what they did to me.”But the men of Judah told him, “We have come to tie you up and hand you over to the Philistines.”   “All right,” Samson said. “But promise that you won’t kill me yourselves.”  “We will only tie you up and hand you over to the Philistines,” they replied. “We won’t kill you.” So they tied him up with two new ropes and brought him up from the rock.

As Samson arrived at Lehi, the Philistines came shouting in triumph. But the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon Samson, and he snapped the ropes on his arms as if they were burnt strands of flax, and they fell from his wrists.  Then he found the jawbone of a recently killed donkey. He picked it up and killed 1,000 Philistines with it.  Then Samson said,“With the jawbone of a donkey, I’ve piled them in heaps! With the jawbone of a donkey, I’ve killed a thousand men!”  When he finished his boasting, he threw away the jawbone; and the place was named Jawbone Hill.

Samson was now very thirsty, and he cried out to the Lord, “You have accomplished this great victory by the strength of your servant. Must I now die of thirst and fall into the hands of these pagans?”  So God caused water to gush out of a hollow in the ground at Lehi, and Samson was revived as he drank. Then he named that place “The Spring of the One Who Cried Out,” and it is still in Lehi to this day.  Samson judged Israel for twenty years during the period when the Philistines dominated the land.

Revenge is an ugly monster.  It can circulate from one act of destruction, to another, to another, to another, and so on. The cycle can only be stopped by the act of forgiveness. 

Pride can cause us to take credit for something we have no right to.  If our stories all start and finish with, "I...", we have a problem.

Entitlement is a gross spirit.  It's OK to ask for things we need help with, but when we think that God "owes" us something, yuck.  

Samson was still stuck in this place of revenge, pride, and entitlement.  Yet, God still gave him strength, victory, and appointed him as a judge.  It doesn't really make sense, but that's how God loves.  When we don't understand how people that are living in sin, can be placed in a position of leadership or have power or favor, we just have to trust that what God sees is greater than what we see.

Remember, Samson wasn't created and chosen by God to live this way.  It was his own sinful nature that led to his current choice of lifestyle.  How many times have we been right where he was?  Ouch.

We have to look past what only our earthly eyes see.  We have to look at people through the eyes of Jesus.  If we are a "Christian", then we have the eyes of Christ, the ears of Christ, the mind of Christ, and the heart of Christ; therefore, when we encounter Samson's in our world (hmmmm - like our neighbors, ISIS members, the POTUS, ourselves?) we are required to see them like Jesus does.  

I have so many more thoughts to share on this, but don't want it to be about "I", so this is the best thing to do, share straight from the heart of God, because that is the only place that holds pure love:

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.

But friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we’ll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we’ll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus’ life as a model for our own.


All who indulge in a sinful life are dangerously lawless, for sin is a major disruption of God’s order. Surely you know that Christ showed up in order to get rid of sin. There is no sin in him, and sin is not part of his program. No one who lives deeply in Christ makes a practice of sin. None of those who do practice sin have taken a good look at Christ. They’ve got him all backward.

So, my dear children, don’t let anyone divert you from the truth. It’s the person who acts right who is right, just as we see it lived out in our righteous Messiah. Those who make a practice of sin are straight from the Devil, the pioneer in the practice of sin. The Son of God entered the scene to abolish the Devil’s ways.


People conceived and brought into life by God don’t make a practice of sin. How could they? God’s seed is deep within them, making them who they are. It’s not in the nature of the God-begotten to practice and parade sin. Here’s how you tell the difference between God’s children and the Devil’s children: The one who won’t practice righteous ways isn’t from God, nor is the one who won’t love brother or sister. A simple test.

For this is the original message we heard: We should love each other.

We must not be like Cain, who joined the Evil One and then killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because he was deep in the practice of evil, while the acts of his brother were righteous. So don’t be surprised, friends, when the world hates you. This has been going on a long time.

The way we know we’ve been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters. Anyone who doesn’t love is as good as dead. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know very well that eternal life and murder don’t go together.


This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.

When We Practice Real Love

My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.

1 John 3

that scandal

Judges 14

One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye.  When he returned home, he told his father and mother, “A young Philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me.”  His father and mother objected. “Isn’t there even one woman in our tribe or among all the Israelites you could marry?” they asked. “Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?  But Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.”  His father and mother didn’t realize the Lord was at work in this, creating an opportunity to work against the Philistines, who ruled over Israel at that time.

As Samson and his parents were going down to Timnah, a young lion suddenly attacked Samson near the vineyards of Timnah.  At that moment the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him, and he ripped the lion’s jaws apart with his bare hands. He did it as easily as if it were a young goat. But he didn’t tell his father or mother about it.  When Samson arrived in Timnah, he talked with the woman and was very pleased with her.

Later, when he returned to Timnah for the wedding, he turned off the path to look at the carcass of the lion. And he found that a swarm of bees had made some honey in the carcass.  He scooped some of the honey into his hands and ate it along the way. He also gave some to his father and mother, and they ate it. But he didn’t tell them he had taken the honey from the carcass of the lion.

As his father was making final arrangements for the marriage, Samson threw a party at Timnah, as was the custom for elite young men.  When the bride’s parents saw him, they selected thirty young men from the town to be his companions.  Samson said to them, “Let me tell you a riddle. If you solve my riddle during these seven days of the celebration, I will give you thirty fine linen robes and thirty sets of festive clothing.  But if you can’t solve it, then you must give me thirty fine linen robes and thirty sets of festive clothing.”  “All right,” they agreed, “let’s hear your riddle.”

So he said:

“Out of the one who eats came something to eat;
    out of the strong came something sweet.”

Three days later they were still trying to figure it out.  On the fourth day they said to Samson’s wife, “Entice your husband to explain the riddle for us, or we will burn down your father’s house with you in it. Did you invite us to this party just to make us poor?”

So Samson’s wife came to him in tears and said, “You don’t love me; you hate me! You have given my people a riddle, but you haven’t told me the answer."  “I haven’t even given the answer to my father or mother,” he replied. “Why should I tell you?”  So she cried whenever she was with him and kept it up for the rest of the celebration. At last, on the seventh day he told her the answer because she was tormenting him with her nagging. Then she explained the riddle to the young men.

So before sunset of the seventh day, the men of the town came to Samson with their answer:

“What is sweeter than honey?
    What is stronger than a lion?”

Samson replied, “If you hadn’t plowed with my heifer, you wouldn’t have solved my riddle!”

Then the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him. He went down to the town of Ashkelon, killed thirty men, took their belongings, and gave their clothing to the men who had solved his riddle. But Samson was furious about what had happened, and he went back home to live with his father and mother.  So his wife was given in marriage to the man who had been Samson’s best man at the wedding.

I think this is the most scandalous chapter in the whole Bible.  

Samson was born with a name that meant "bright sun" and was set apart by God to do great things.  But, in his selfish and sinful nature, he chose his own desires over that which God created him to fulfill.  

He lusted after a woman he should have never even looked at, and that lust turned into greed, turned into manipulation over his parents, turned into other temptations he fell for, turned into destruction, turned into lies, turned into deceit, turned into murder, turned into complete loss of everything he started with.  He used the gifts God gave him for selfish purposes, gross.

It was that very first choice he made that led to all of the destruction that came after.  If that choice would have honored God, then so many other lives around him would have not suffered too.  When we make choices, they don't just affect ourselves, but countless others that we can't even see at the time (like the 30 men he killed), bet you they didn't see that coming.  

I don't like to think about all the bad choices I made in my past, but I do love to talk about how Jesus redeemed all of them and made my whole heart, mind, soul, and body a new creation.  

Samson's story is not over after this, there is so much that God did after that one bad decision......stay tuned for it.

I rode around downtown Jackson yesterday looking for my friend Jonathon.  He made a bad choice just like Samson did, and is seeing the ripple effect of that play out in his life, as are we that love him.  After riding around for a while, I spotted him standing in the parking lot of our corner store.  I whipped in, didn't even turn my car off, and ran up to him.  After I told him I was so glad I found him, I gave him a good hand on my hips, finger shaking in the air, hard truth talking too.  He just kept saying, "I got you" and I wanted to shake him and make him really GET it!  But Jesus always reminds me, that's not my job, that's His.  

Over the last week, Jonathon has been loved on by many people, reminded of the truth that God created him to be more than what he was choosing, and that the last year has not been wasted and it was not to late - that nasty lie the enemy wants us to believe.  

Before yesterday was over, he had gotten a hot shower, a safe and clean place to sleep, and another chance to see Jesus redeem him.  That bad choice he made hurt a lot of people, but he has turned it into a beautiful choice now, and we get to see what restoration looks like, again.

Samson's scandal, Jonathon's scandal, my scandal.........nothing different about them, because Jesus came to set all of us free, so they are both the same as me.  

 

here's a little update on the house for you

Last week I was sitting in the house in one of the wicker chairs that had been given to me, that me and the boys spray painted a fun color a few months ago.  My plan is to have these bright pieces of furniture on the back porch.  For now they are just sitting in the middle of what will be the kitchen.

I've been going several times a week and opening the front door and the back door, sitting right in between them in this chair, and praying.  I listen to the birds that sing in the backyard, and the "thump, thump, thump" bass drop of the cars that come down the street.  In the midst of both of these sounds, Jesus is so sweet to talk so clear to me.

Sitting still, listening to my Father, He said to me, "tell me what you want."  That's a loaded question.  When Jesus asks me what I want, my first response is a feeling of selfishness, then pride, then greed.  When Jesus says to tell HIM what I want?  That's hard for me to do.  The enemy does not want me to talk to Jesus, or think that I can trust Him what what I desire.  Such stupid lies. 

So, I told him.  I sat there in that yellow chair and cried out to Him, told him what I wanted.

New windows.

I thought I would ask him for something like, well.....maybe a husband?  That would be amazing, but in that moment, "new windows" was all that came out from inside me.  And then I cried, like I haven't cried in a long time.  I am not a crier.  It takes a lot for me to get teary-eyed.  But He made me cry that day, over windows.

I got two new windows on the front of the house a few months ago, and the rest of the windows in the house are OK, but they are old and I would love to have new windows that match and are a little nicer.

"It's just windows", I say to myself, but it's so much more than that.  It's having courage to tell Jesus that I would like to have new ones.  To know that He cares about me so much that He wants me to tell him what I want, and that He loves me so much that He can give them to me, to us.  Just as much as He loves those birds I hear in the back yard, and just as much as He loves the men driving down my street droppin the beat - He loves me the same.

I will keep sitting in that chair until it gets moved to the new screened in back porch, that is about to get started - PRAISE JESUS.

Plumbing and electrical are about to get kicked off - PRAISE JESUS.

Here's what is left:

• Sheetrock
• Cabinets
• Floors
• Appliances
• Showers, toilets, sinks
• Trim work
• Painting inside

And prayerfully, new windows - PRAISE JESUS.

I went feet first in that River Jordan 1 year ago, with no money, no help, no idea what I was doing or how it was going to happen.  But I stood firm, just like the Lord told me to do, and He has provided for every single thing up to today.  He's not going to leave me in the middle of that dry river bed and let the waters come crashing down over me.  He's not that kind of Father.  He just wants me to keep standing there, holding up that chest, telling Him how I feel, what I need, and trusting He will provide.

So, for all of you that keep asking, "how is the house coming?"  there you go......

"And the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan, and all the Israelites passed over on dry ground, until all the people were passed clean over Jordan."

Joshua 3:17

samson comes into the world, oh, and learning to trust

Judges 13

"And then the People of Israel were back at it again, doing what was evil in God’s sight. God put them under the domination of the Philistines for forty years.  At that time there was a man named Manoah from Zorah from the tribe of Dan. His wife was barren and childless. The angel of God appeared to her and told her, “I know that you are barren and childless, but you’re going to become pregnant and bear a son. But take much care: Drink no wine or beer; eat nothing ritually unclean. You are, in fact, pregnant right now, carrying a son. No razor will touch his head—the boy will be God’s Nazirite from the moment of his birth. He will launch the deliverance from Philistine oppression.”  The woman went to her husband and said, “A man of God came to me. He looked like the angel of God—terror laced with glory! I didn’t ask him where he was from and he didn’t tell me his name, but he told me, ‘You’re pregnant. You’re going to give birth to a son. Don’t drink any wine or beer and eat nothing ritually unclean. The boy will be God’s Nazirite from the moment of birth to the day of his death.’”

Imagine this  In the midst of being under the siege, suffering, and oppression of the Philistines; descendants of the small and weak tribe of Dan; and struggling with infertility; imagine how hard dealing with life must have been for this married couple.  Then all of a sudden and angel of GOD is standing before them.  Here's the run down of events:

She is going about her daily routine (maybe she is gathering water, preparing a meal for her husband, sitting under a tree crying from the pain of longing to be a mother) and in the blink of her eye, there is an ANGEL of GOD.  And he says, "I know you are sad, I know you long to be a mother, I know the hurt you endure every single day, but God has a plan for you and it is about to come to life, literally."  

She runs as fast as she can to tell her husband what just happened. Maybe he was thinking, "Ok, she has really lost it this time."  But, even if he thinks she might be a little crazy, he goes to the Lord and says:

Manoah prayed to God: “Master, let the man of God you sent come to us again and teach us how to raise this boy who is to be born.”  

And........"God listened to Manoah."

God’s angel came again to the woman. She was sitting in the field; her husband Manoah wasn’t there with her. She jumped to her feet and ran and told her husband: “He’s back! The man who came to me that day!”  Manoah got up and, following his wife, came to the man. He said to him, “Are you the man who spoke to my wife?  He said, “I am.”  Manoah said, “So. When what you say comes true, what do you have to tell us about this boy and his work?”  The angel of God said to Manoah, “Keep in mind everything I told the woman. Eat nothing that comes from the vine: Drink no wine or beer; eat no ritually unclean foods. She’s to observe everything I commanded her.”  Manoah said to the angel of God, “Please, stay with us a little longer; we’ll prepare a meal for you—a young goat.”  God’s angel said to Manoah, “Even if I stay, I won’t eat your food. But if you want to prepare a Whole-Burnt-Offering for God, go ahead—offer it!” Manoah had no idea that he was talking to the angel of God.

Trust is a funny thing.  We either do, or we do not.  Manoah was learning how to trust here.  Is my wife crazy?  Ok, Lord, if she is not crazy, then send that angel back so I can know this is real.  Ok, Lord, the angel is here, but tell me again what you told her so I make sure I understand it.  Ok, Lord, are you sure?  

God's word doesn't change.  The first time He tells us something, that will be the same thing He tells us over and over and over and over.  God doesn't change his mind.   


Then Manoah asked the angel of God, “What’s your name? When your words come true, we’d like to honor you.”  The angel of God said, “What’s this? You ask for my name? You wouldn’t understand—it’s sheer wonder.”  So Manoah took the kid and the Grain-Offering and sacrificed them on a rock altar to God who works wonders. As the flames leapt up from the altar to heaven, God’s angel also ascended in the altar flames. When Manoah and his wife saw this, they fell facedown to the ground. Manoah and his wife never saw the angel of God again.  Only then did Manoah realize that this was God’s angel. He said to his wife, “We’re as good as dead! We’ve looked on God!”  But his wife said, “If God were planning to kill us, he wouldn’t have accepted our Whole-Burnt-Offering and Grain-Offering, or revealed all these things to us—given us this birth announcement.”

The angel didn't tell his name because it was a mystery to wonderful to understand by man.  God sent this angel from heaven, that in itself is hard to comprehend.  Sometimes we ask God questions that He doesn't answer for us.  It's not because He doesn't want us to know, it is because we don't have the ability to understand or accept it.  

The woman gave birth to a son. They named him Samson. The boy grew and God blessed him. The Spirit of God began working in him while he was staying at a Danite camp between Zorah and Eshtaol."

Samson means "bright sun."  Manoah and his wife fully trusted what the Lord said, they saw the miracle come to life, and Samson was annointed at birth, just as the Angel said he would be. 

Friday morning I picked up one of my boys and was taking him to school.  He got in the car and said, "I had prayed to God for something and he heard me."  He told me that he asked God for a bike for his friend.  The next day some man gave his friend a bike.  I love this. 

Later that day I had about 45 minutes of time that I could just sit by myself.  I wanted to get a cup of coffee and a sweet treat in Fondren.  Parking in Fondren is terrible.  I rode around the block 3 times and couldn't find a place to park anywhere.  I was going to give it 1 more shot, and prayed and said, "Lord, I really just want to sit by myself for a few minutes and drink a cup of coffee, will you please give me a place to park?"  When I rounded the corner in front of Fondren Corner, a car was backing out right in front of the coffee shop.  I love this. 

Whether it is trusting God when He sends and Angel to tell you that one of the deepest desires of your heart is coming to life, or that He will give your friend a bike, or yourself a parking spot - the heart of the matter is just that - TRUST - when it doesn't make sense, when other people might think you are crazy, and when nothing else you can comprehend or understand works.   

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart don’t try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track."

Proverbs 3:5-6

I love this, too.

 

the end of Jephthah and lots of lessons learned

Judges 12

"The men of Ephraim mustered their troops, crossed to Zaphon, and said to Jephthah, “Why did you go out to fight the Ammonites without letting us go with you? We’re going to burn your house down on you!”  Jephthah said, “I and my people had our hands full negotiating with the Ammonites. And I did call to you for help but you ignored me. When I saw that you weren’t coming, I took my life in my hands and confronted the Ammonites myself. And God gave them to me! So why did you show up here today? Are you spoiling for a fight with me?”

So Jephthah got his Gilead troops together and fought Ephraim. And the men of Gilead hit them hard because they were saying, “Gileadites are nothing but half breeds and rejects from Ephraim and Manasseh.”

Gilead captured the fords of the Jordan at the crossing to Ephraim. If an Ephraimite fugitive said, “Let me cross,” the men of Gilead would ask, “Are you an Ephraimite?” and he would say, “No.” And they would say, “Say, ‘Shibboleth.’” But he would always say, “Sibboleth”—he couldn’t say it right. Then they would grab him and kill him there at the fords of the Jordan. Forty-two Ephraimite divisions were killed on that occasion.  Jephthah judged Israel six years. Jephthah the Gileadite died and was buried in his city, Mizpah of Gilead."
  
I've had to read this a bunch to understand what really was going on.  A few things I pieced together:

1 - We must celebrate victory, not stand in defeat.  Israel just walked through a big victory (remember from the last chapter?), but instead of celebrating, they were fighting among themselves.  Jealousy, bitterness, selfishness and greed overtook the miracles that the Lord had JUST done for them.  And the result of that nasty stuff was.....42,000 of them died.  Jesus gives us victory for a reason - to CELEBRATE IT!  Don't give the enemy any ground at all when the Lord does a miracle in your life.  

"My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?"  Galations 5:16-18

2 - We have to think before we act, and we have to act according to the spirit.  Jephthah had been really good about going to the Lord and seeking His counsel before he acted, until now.  When the Ephraimites came at him with all of these, let's just say, opposites of the fruits of the spirit, he really just reacted in the same way they had acted.  Ohhhhhhh, this is not an easy one.  It is very tempting to lash back at people when they throw insults and accusations at you.  Believe me, I deal with this a lot.  I remember one time when my friend Mario got really mad at me, picked up a big, clay flower pot and threw it at me, right in the middle of the street.  I sure did want to pick it up and throw it right back at him.  For real.  But, thank you Jesus that you send the Holy Spirit to convict us and give us time to react like you!

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."  Colossians 3:12-14

3 -  Don't let 1 word have influence over what you do.  It doesn't make sense to me why they would use the pronunciation of a word determine if people lived or died, but a lot of things don't make sense to me.  Like fax machines, or golf.  But this was how Jephthah was going to use his authority as judge to deal with the Ephraimites.  Words are powerful and carry a lot of hurt, or healing. 

 ^"A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!" James 3:3-5

Of these three, this is what I came to the conclusion of:

give satan ground to rule = all the opposites of the fruits of the spirits = death

BUT

Jesus gives us victory to celebrate! = Holy Spirit helps us respond in love! = LIFE!

one of my favorite pieces of art.  worth more than millions to me.

 

holding up your end of the deal

Judges 11:29-40

God’s Spirit came upon Jephthah. He went across Gilead and Manasseh, went through Mizpah of Gilead, and from there approached the Ammonites. Jephthah made a vow before God: “If you give me a clear victory over the Ammonites, then I’ll give to God whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in one piece from among the Ammonites—I’ll offer it up in a sacrificial burnt offering.”

Then Jephthah was off to fight the Ammonites. And God gave them to him. He beat them soundly, all the way from Aroer to the area around Minnith as far as Abel Keramim—twenty cities! A massacre! Ammonites brought to their knees by the People of Israel.

Jephthah came home to Mizpah. His daughter ran from the house to welcome him home—dancing to tambourines! She was his only child. He had no son or daughter except her. When he realized who it was, he ripped his clothes, saying, “Ah, dearest daughter—I’m dirt. I’m despicable. My heart is torn to shreds. I made a vow to God and I can’t take it back!”

She said, “Dear father, if you made a vow to God, do to me what you vowed; God did his part and saved you from your Ammonite enemies.”

And then she said to her father, “But let this one thing be done for me. Give me two months to wander through the hills and lament my virginity since I will never marry, I and my dear friends.”
“Oh yes, go,” he said. He sent her off for two months. She and her dear girlfriends went among the hills, lamenting that she would never marry. At the end of the two months, she came back to her father. He fulfilled the vow with her that he had made. She had never slept with a man.

 It became a custom in Israel that for four days every year the young women of Israel went out to mourn for the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite.

Such a theme throughout the scripture, history, life - God does a miracle, brings you out of a valley to sit you up on a mountain THEN you do something really stupid.

Jephthah was a great warrior, God used him to bring victory, he went from junk to judge, he walked in his true identity of what God made him to be - THEN he did something a little crazy.

When you make a vow, it's a promise that you will uphold your end of the deal.  For Jephthah, he made a promise to God that was not to be broken, and this was a very foolish promise.  He vowed that "if you give me victory over the Ammonites, I will give you whatever comes out of my house to meet me when I return.  I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering."   

He was probably thinking a goat or sheep would come walking out of his front door.  But, it was his daughter, his only child.  Goodness.

His deal with the Lord brought him great grief.  Sometimes we can make vows based on what our emotion is at the time.  They may sound super spiritual, but they only bring frustration, guilt, and even grief when we are forced to uphold our end of the deal. 

I can remember times when I have made "deals" with God.  

"Lord, if you get me out of this mess, I will never do it again."  
"God, if you will give me this one thing I want, I will give you (fill in the blank)."
"Jesus, if you will  THIS, then I will THIS."
  
And the Lord fully expected me to do what I told him I would do.  And when I didn't uphold my end of the deal, there were lots of consequences.

If you are going to ask the Lord for a victory over something in your life, then make sure that what you offer him in return is not going to make you a Jephthah.  

God doesn't want promises for the future, he wants obedience for today.

I said 1 year ago, "Lord, if you will restore this home.......... I will live here, invest for the long-haul, love without expecting anything in return, stand firm on the front line of battle, and give myself over to you in every detail of my life."

He's doing his part, so I have to keep doing mine.

I mean, just look at these three.  This is MUCH better than frustration and grief!

lesson from the least likely

Judges 11:1-28

Now Jephthah of Gilead was a great warrior. He was the son of Gilead, but his mother was a prostitute. Gilead’s wife also had several sons, and when these half brothers grew up, they chased Jephthah off the land. “You will not get any of our father’s inheritance,” they said, “for you are the son of a prostitute.”  So Jephthah fled from his brothers and lived in the land of Tob. Soon he had a band of worthless rebels following him.

At about this time, the Ammonites began their war against Israel. When the Ammonites attacked, the elders of Gilead sent for Jephthah in the land of Tob. The elders said, “Come and be our commander! Help us fight the Ammonites!”  But Jephthah said to them, “Aren’t you the ones who hated me and drove me from my father’s house? Why do you come to me now when you’re in trouble?”
“Because we need you,” the elders replied. “If you lead us in battle against the Ammonites, we will make you ruler over all the people of Gilead.”

Jephthah said to the elders, “Let me get this straight. If I come with you and if the Lord gives me victory over the Ammonites, will you really make me ruler over all the people?”
“The Lord is our witness,” the elders replied. “We promise to do whatever you say.”

So Jephthah went with the elders of Gilead, and the people made him their ruler and commander of the army. At Mizpah, in the presence of the Lord, Jephthah repeated what he had said to the elders.
Then Jephthah sent messengers to the king of Ammon, asking, “Why have you come out to fight against my land?”  The king of Ammon answered Jephthah’s messengers, “When the Israelites came out of Egypt, they stole my land from the Arnon River to the Jabbok River and all the way to the Jordan. Now then, give back the land peaceably.”

Jephthah sent this message back to the Ammonite king:  “This is what Jephthah says: Israel did not steal any land from Moab or Ammon. When the people of Israel arrived at Kadesh on their journey from Egypt after crossing the Red Sea, they sent messengers to the king of Edom asking for permission to pass through his land. But their request was denied. Then they asked the king of Moab for similar permission, but he wouldn’t let them pass through either. So the people of Israel stayed in Kadesh.  Finally, they went around Edom and Moab through the wilderness. They traveled along Moab’s eastern border and camped on the other side of the Arnon River. But they never once crossed the Arnon River into Moab, for the Arnon was the border of Moab.  Then Israel sent messengers to King Sihon of the Amorites, who ruled from Heshbon, asking for permission to cross through his land to get to their destination. But King Sihon didn’t trust Israel to pass through his land. Instead, he mobilized his army at Jahaz and attacked them.  

But the Lord, the God of Israel, gave his people victory over King Sihon. So Israel took control of all the land of the Amorites, who lived in that region,  from the Arnon River to the Jabbok River, and from the eastern wilderness to the Jordan.

So you see, it was the Lord, the God of Israel, who took away the land from the Amorites and gave it to Israel. Why, then, should we give it back to you?  You keep whatever your god Chemosh gives you, and we will keep whatever the Lord our God gives us. Are you any better than Balak son of Zippor, king of Moab? Did he try to make a case against Israel for disputed land? Did he go to war against them?  Israel has been living here for 300 years, inhabiting Heshbon and its surrounding settlements, all the way to Aroer and its settlements, and in all the towns along the Arnon River. Why have you made no effort to recover it before now? Therefore, I have not sinned against you. Rather, you have wronged me by attacking me. Let the Lord, who is judge, decide today which of us is right—Israel or Ammon.”

But the king of Ammon paid no attention to Jephthah’s message.

There is a simple, valuable truth we learn from this little glimpse into his life.

He was a great warrior.  He was a military strategist.  He was controlled by the spirit of God.  He was appointed as a judge.  He was also the illegitimate son of a prostitute.  

Despite where he came from, how his life was created, and how his family rejected him - God still had a purpose and plan for him.   He chose to walk in his purpose.  He didn't let the circumstances of his "lot in life" dictate how he actually lived.  He let the God who created him, lead him in his true identity.  

2 pages in my Bible is all I know of Jehthah.  But if you turn all the over to the back of the book, in Hebrews chapter 11, he is listed in the "Hall of Faith." 

^" I could go on and on, but I’ve run out of time. There are so many more—Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, the prophets. . . . Through acts of faith, they toppled kingdoms, made justice work, took the promises for themselves. They were protected from lions, fires, and sword thrusts, turned disadvantage to advantage, won battles, routed alien armies. Women received their loved ones back from the dead. There were those who, under torture, refused to give in and go free, preferring something better: resurrection. Others braved abuse and whips, and, yes, chains and dungeons. We have stories of those who were stoned, sawed in two, murdered in cold blood; stories of vagrants wandering the earth in animal skins, homeless, friendless, powerless—the world didn’t deserve them!—making their way as best they could on the cruel edges of the world.  Not one of these people, even though their lives of faith were exemplary, got their hands on what was promised. God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours."  Hebrews 11:32-40

When I read about his life, I think of all the people I know that have adopted.  I see the lives of the orphaned, flourish and thrive.  See them be loved to the fullest.  Watch them grow into their true identity.  Regardless of what family history, genetic background, mother/father lifestyle, and features they may have - God has a purpose and plan for each life created.  

The same spirit of God that led Jephhthah into his purpose, and moves in the hearts of families to bring life to those that are orphaned, and lives inside of me, is the same spirit of God that raised JESUS from the dead.

What else is there to know and learn from Jephthah?  That's enough right there.

Here are two sons right here.  Both created by the hand of God.  Both brought into this world through different circumstances.  Both being loved by the same mother and father.  Both being ushered into life by their identity in who God purposed them to be.  Both sitting on the steps at my house.  Both are part of so many miracles, in their life and in mine!

from then.....to now

It's been 1 year since I shared my story, since I moved from downtown, since I had no idea how this was going to work.

here is the post from August 27, 2014.  What a great reminder to me of how far the Lord has moved the mark.

http://jrasberry.blogspot.com/2014/08/movin-to-midtown.html

so many promises fulfilled.
so many dreams dreamed.
so many tears, laughs, screams, "help me Jesus" moments.
so many new people the Lord has brought in my life.
so many opportunities to share His story, His love, His plan.
so many miracles.

so much still left to do.
so many miracles waiting to be released from heaven.

In September last year, a few weeks after I set out on this journey, I got the amazing opportunity to go to Portugal. It was so beautiful, and really good for my heart and soul.

On our last day there, I stopped at a little store and saw some porcelin tiles that I was instantly drawn to. I thought, "how pretty these would be on the front of my house!", and as quickly as I got excited, just as quick the enemy came at me. Saying nasty things like, "what if this doesn't work, then what? what if you don't get the house, then you just have tiles that are useless." It was such an attack.

I was standing in Portugal, at a little store, staring at these tiles, having this battle with the enemy. REALLY?

I got it together, told the enemy to shut up, turned my ears/eyes/heart/mind back to my Father and he said "Buy the tiles."

so I bought the tiles.

They have been wrapped up in the same paper they were packed in to bring home, for all of this whole year. I finally took them out a few weeks ago and was ready to get them suited up to put on the front of the house. I asked my sweet dear little brother Levi to help me make something to set them in, from the old slats of wood that came out of the house. These little pieces of wood are a whole story - I would guess there were over 10,000 of them underneath the sheet rock and plaster. They were my worst enemy during the demo. Some of you reading this helped take them down, so you know what I'm talking about.

so, here we are, 1 year later. It may not seem like a big deal to you that there is 3 small tiles stuck in some wood hanging on the front of my house, but ya'll, this is HUGE for me. The struggle on the inside of me that day in Lisbon, to the struggle on the inside of me every day on McTyere, the struggle is real.

But the faithfulness of Jesus is more real.

Very soon I will have a light hanging above this. Shedding light on the promises of the Lord. Literally.

and my long time friend Nate helped make it beautiful.  If I would have given the enemy what he wanted that day in Portugal, Nate would have missed this miracle.  That will make you think......

"For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation."  Psalm 100:5