thank you for billy

this morning i went for a run and as i left congress street i saw billy. he has not been around here in several months and even as much as he tested our patience, i have missed him. so i am glad he is back. he keeps our fruit trees pruned. he had just been given a plate that was leftover from our dinner last night. every sunday after worship we have a meal together. someone brings the food and everyone gets to eat together. you don't have to do anything to earn the meal, it is free, and we share it with each other. when i got finished running and got back to congress street i didn't see billy but i saw the plate on the sidewalk. it had just been thrown down, food everywhere. just left there in a mess. my first thought was "i can't believe he just left this mess here after we gave it to him!" in the same instant that i suppose God appeared to moses in flames of fire blazing out of the middle of a bush and heard him say "moses, moses, take your shoes off you are standing on holy ground" i bent down to pick the mess up and heard God say "jamie, jamie, you do the same thing to me". yep, i heard it loud and clear. we are given much freely from jesus. we are forgiven much freely too. we don't have to do anything to earn his love, thank goodness for that because i would be in debt forever to him. he gives all of himself freely to us. and what do we do? we take it freely, but often we just decide it is not what we want so we just throw it away. left as a mess for someone else to clean up. left for the one that loves us with no regrets to pick up. but in his pure white hands he scoops down and picks us up out our our mess, our dirt, our gross sin. with no hesitation, ever. billy will be back. and he will probably stretch me like he has done in the past. but when you stretch, you grow. i will continue to love billy, even when he makes it hard, even when he makes a mess. why? because i do the same thing to jesus, and he continues to love me.

two men, two needs, one jesus

we will go is not just about workdays on saturday or service on sunday. it is a an everday being available to share jesus with anyone that you meet. two knocks on the door. one is george. he lives in the rooming house behind us. doesn't have a lot of teeth, dirty a lot of the time, isn't working. he usually comes by for a glass of water or a snack bag. today he needed to use the phone. the other is a very well dressed, clean cut, driving a nice car, man from madison with a donation for the clothing closet. george uses my phone and we talk about a few things he has going on, he's pretty good today. he let me pray over him. then he headed back to his room. the other man and i unload the donation, have small talk, then i ask about his family. next thing i know he is telling me about his college age son who recently had the courage to admit he had some addictions and needed help and is now in a treatment facility. he said "i don't know why i am telling you this", but i know why. in the midst of that hurt i saw in the dad's eye, i saw lots more love. he let me pray over him and for his family. two knocks. two different men. two different worlds. two different needs. but the same ONE gracious, loving, forgiving, all sufficient, merciful jesus.

never underestimate the power of a fried chicken tender

as i sit in my big white robe and pink fuzzy house shoes and unbrushed out of control hair from a night of incredible rest on the back porch of the wwgo faith house, secured in my little nook i have decorated with bright spring flowers and hummingbird feeders, i am quickly reminded what a miracle this is. i can see the vibrant green of the trees that surround us peeking over the roof of the hope house. i have a perfect view of the banner that hangs on the side of the fence around the love house with john 10:10 on it. i can hear friends walking down barksdale street and don't even have to look, i know who it is by their voice. once a house full of complete darkness, sin, filth, greed, you name it....it now is home to three of us single ladies that get to sleep peacefully in the presence of a restored mess. but the miracle i really see, is me. i don't understand how i got here, why jesus picked me, why he gave me another chance, how he loves me, but i know miracles make him smile, so i am just imagining him smiling at me right now, in my robe and slippers and crazy hair.

yesterday i ended up with 700 fried chicken tenders in the back of my truck. (thank you jeff redding for thinking of us). i have learned here that if god gives us something to share, he will give us the people to share it with.

the first two pans went to 809, the senior high rise on state street. a lot of our friends live there so we share things with them when we can. as i was dropping them off an ambulance pulled up because one of the residents had fallen and they were taking him to the hospital. in the middle of the chaos, the manager, whom i have never met, was very overwhelmed and just needed a hug. so we had a big hug in the driveway and a good prayer.

another pan went to the OC, our beloved opportunity center where lots of our friends hang out. it was about 9:00 by now and there were three people sitting outside. the first face i saw was renee. she has just gotten out of jail after being locked up for 6 months. i wish i could bottle up the smile that i saw on her face when she realized it was us. she is a completely different person sitting there than she was the last time i saw her. so full of hate and violence and hardness, she was sitting there so calm and meek, i was taken aback at how different her demeanor was. i am praying that whatever jesus did in her heart while she was sitting, it stays there. two other guys were there and there is a house across the street where several guys sleep behind so we left that pan to be divided up between them.

the last pan. wow. i had no idea jesus was going to use a pan of fried chicken tenders to wreck me on a thursday night at 10:00. we found ourselves in the parking lot of southside baptist church looking for our friend toxie. walking up to what he calls home, before he even came out of the tent, the holy spirit just sat right down. i can't even explain how the conversation went, but i know this - jesus was right in the middle of it. it was so real. it was so beautiful. it was one of the highlights of my life. laying hands and praying for what seemed like hours over our sweet friend, i am still begging jesus to never let me be the same after that.

what did jesus teach me yesterday? it's not about the 700 fried chicken tenders, it's about the manager at 809, it's about renee at the oc, it's about toxie in his tent. he just used the chicken to get me to them.

my friend alisha

my friend alisha has been in jail for 45 days. she was arrested valentines day night for drug possession. i have been trying to go see her for the last few weeks and finally got to on monday morning.

she has 5 beautiful children, that i love like they were my own. kenyatta is 16, aaron is 10, amir is 5, alexis (sugar mama) is 3 and baby azaih (apple bottom) is almost 1. i could put amir and sugar mama in my pocket and carry them around with me every second of every day. i love them so much.

it is so hard to see this family and all the dynamics from the outside and not want to just try to fix it, but i am not capable of that. what i can do is love, and i try my very best to do just that.

as amy and i were in the visitation room of the jail in downtown jackson, alisha came in, saw us and you could see the despair and grief almost instantly disappear. no one has been to see her since she has been in. her family doesn't know what to do. she grabbed both phones and just started crying. so did i. the first thing she asked "have you seen my babies" i started crying more. we talked, we laughed, we cried, we prayed.

she has been sitting still for 45 days, body free of drugs, mind clear of fog, heart full of hurt. jesus is using her in there though, she is sharing her story with others. yes, she made bad choices and she has to be responsible for them. but jesus doesn't love her any less than he loves me. in fact, jesus loves her so much that he saved her life on valentines night, no doubt about that. and he loves her so much he is keeping her there until he is ready for her to leave. and he loves her so much that he is restoring her family. and he loves her so much that those 5 kids are hers. and he loves me so much that i got the amazing time to spend with her and look her in the eyes and tell her that he loves me the same way he loves her.

better go get your armor

I have made the drive many many many times. it is my comfort zone now. leave congress street, go down lamar, right on amite, pass the bus station, pass the opportunity center, loop around by poindexter park, right on gallitan, back down capitol. it is like my daily commute. either taking someone to the bus station, going to the OC or many days, just riding around praying for my friends.

yesterday was very different. i came home and patrick and nichole were on the peach house porch. their story is a whole nother blog. patrick had his backpack with all that he has to his name now. he has come all the way out and sadly went right back in, now facing all of those consequenses. he is staying at broomfield, a mens shelter, because of the choices he made. it breaks my heart to see my friend i love so much just desperate.

nichole and i took him to broomfield and along the way - my little route - my comfort zone - the holy spirit did something in me i am still processing. i drove right into the battlefield, one that i am accustomed to fighting, but the war was so heavy. the spiritual warfare was so thick my heart literally felt the weight of the fighting. it wasn't because anyone said anything or there was chaos going on anywhere, it was just the simplicity of the war that is not flesh against flesh, but against the unseen forces of evil.

i had dinner the night before with my family at tico's. when i walked in, i felt the same way there as i did riding through downtown. the battle was the same, it may just look different from the outside. two completely different worlds, but the completely same war.

i have had many times when the kindgom that resides in me encounters the kingdom that resides in others, and it has not always been comfortable, but thankfully jesus has already conquered. when the weight of oppression from darkness hits you, it hits hard. my desire is not to help anyone get to a shelter or feed them or give them clothes, but to see them encounter the reality of who Jesus is and see them walk in freedom of that.

on this little comfort zone car ride, the king quickly reminded me that even when i think i know where i am going and what i am doing, the enemy is always there ready to attack, but because jesus had already defeated death, the battle ground has already been claimed. but we still have to fight.

God is strong and he wants you to stay strong. so take everything the Master has set out for you, well made weapons of the best materials. put them to sue so you will be able to stand up to everything the devil throws your way. this is no afternoon athletic contest that we will walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. this is for keeps, a life or death fight to the finish against the devil and all his angels.

sweet smellin

a week ago i was walking around the farish district with a group of people picking up trash. lots of trash. beer bottles, chip bags, dirty clothes, etc...one of the kids walking with us said a few times "this stuff stinks so bad" and "there is so much trash, more trash and more trash" and we just kept picking it all up.

i have not been able to stop thinking about that. isaiah 65 is a chapter full of judgement AND salvation.

"I've made myself available to those who haven't bothered to ask. I'm here ready to be found by those who haven't bothered to look. I kept saying, I'm here, I'm right here, to a nation that ignored me. I reached out day after day to a people who turned their backs on me, people who make wrong turns, who insist on doing things their own way." God says "These people gag me, I can't stand their stench"

But. There is always a But when it comes to God. that's how awesomely gracious he is to us.

"But, just as one bad apple doesn't ruin the whole bushel, there are still plenty of good apples left. So, I will preserve those who obey me." and those that obey get this: full stomachs, rejoicing, full hearts, laughter.

what hit me that day walking and picking up trash and smelling it was .....that is the same thing God thought about me when i walked in sin. even though my sin was a stench to him, he was still there picking me up - so much trash. but he just kept right on picking me up. still does. he loves that crazy.

the beauty that comes from him picking us up and living in his truth is this, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation, an aroma redolent with life. i don't know about you, but i want to be sweet smellin.

a one shoe mystery

you never know what is going to show up in the we will go clothes closet. we take in donations almost daily. people calling wanting to bring old clothes, new clothes, but we never know what we will find when we open one of the large black garbage bags. on tuesday this week we had a mystery bag. it was full of really nice, almost brand new, shoes. only the mystery was that there was only one of each and it was a left shoe. who in the world would donate a bag full of only one shoe?

my first thought, other than that one i just said, was....well maybe someone with only one leg donated them thinking that we might have a neighbor that only has one leg. and what do you know, we DO! his name is Terry and he lives on cohea st. he lost one of his legs years ago in a shoot out. a life full of things you can't even imagine, terry has lived. years in prison. years of drug use. years of drug selling. gangs. violence. you name it, terry has lived it.

the amazing God that we have, terry is learning to walk in freedom from ALL of that. wow, i can't even tell you how jesus is working in this mans heart. it is like revelation, hard to understand and comprehend.

back to the shoe mystery. as we thought of other possible explanations to the bag of only one shoe, in walks chris. chris is terry's cousin, who is also serving jesus now. we ask chris what size shoe terry wears because someone brought a whole bag of really nice shoes, only one and terry might could wear them. um. TERRY donated the bag of shoes! never crossed our simple little minds. what an amazing moment we had over these shoes.

jesus is working through terry in even the smallest of ways. so now we have these shoes. and the mystery was solved. and we are praying and believing a new neighbor with one leg, opposite of terry's, same size, will come here. and when they do, it won't be crazy to us.

here is terry