perspectives

i don't know how my life could ever go back to the way it was before. how could it? my perspective on everything is different now. i mean everything. i remember praying six months ago - lord, break my heart for what breaks yours. he did. every single day he shows me things that break his. whether it is on my porch, my twitter updates, where i am working, or in me. each day he shows me. we have not because we ask not. ask and you shall receive. you ask, he will give.

perspective. never in my life did i think i would find myself 33, single, living in downtown jackson, a missionary. really? once was blind, now i see. the house i live in for now, just tonight full of so much of what breaks his heart. starting with me. standing in a circle, all holding hands, crying out to jesus. i stood there and looked at the faces, the hearts, the eyes, the hurts, the addictions, the questions. i thought "how did i end up here?" but what i really thought was "why didn't i end up here a long time ago?'

ending the night with my friend mark heavy on my heart. he is on the verge of trust in jesus. asking the questions - how do you really believe? he knows the truth in his mind, he just isn't sure how to know the truth in his heart. i was like that for so so very long. with every ounce of time we take to pour truth in him being intentional, we give him a ride, stop in the middle of mill street, lay hands on him and pray for him. drop him off at the bus station where we tell him we love him, meaning it. yep, that's perspective changing again.